We live in a time that teaches promiscuity, highlight the genitals, and show adultery. When they dared to God by doing acts which are not only damaging themselves, but also destroy the domestic institutions, why are we afraid to obey God by building a solid household? If we reasoned there are risks that must be borne after marriage, adultery is not it also have a myriad of risk? The risk is even greater. Is not being single there are also risks?
Life, however is a risk. Off any risk. That there is no risk is that we are not born into the world. But if we think how to run away from risk, it is an impossible solution. God never taught us to search for possible solutions. If it turns out everything there is a risk, and obeyed immoral, why we do not immediately go to the attitude that the risk is better? Of course, that the risk of marriage is better than risk-free society (read: adultery). Therefore God teaches marriage and reject adultery.
I often talk with friends who are still single, and he was able to get married. After I chase the reason, it turns out all the reasons were not based on solid foundation: there is a reason to collect supplies in advance, there is a reason to seek knowledge first, and others. Here we will review as to why we have to get married? Simultaneously at the crack of my discussion will answer some of the reasons they’ve ever put forward to justify the attitude.
Married Fitrah it
Allah Ta’ala His sunnah enforce this nature on the basis of in pairs. Wa min kulli syai’in khalaqnaa zaujain, and everything else we created in pairs (adh-Dzariyaat: 49). There is a day no night, there was no female. Each plays its functions in accordance with the primary purpose God has planned. None of these sunnah of Allah change, whenever and wherever it may be. Walan tajida lisunnatillah tabdilla, and you never will find changes to the law of Allah (Al-Ahzab: 62). Walan tajida lisunnatillah tahwiila, and you will not find a change for our determination that. (Al-Isra: 77)
With violating the sunnah that means we have put ourselves on the position of danger. Because it is impossible he has put a Sunnah without any unity and linkage with other systems which work perfectly universal.
Man with sophisticated knowledge and its civilization is achieved, will never be able to replace it with another way sunna crafted his own brain. Why? Because, God Almighty. already equip their people with a disposition that is consistent with the Sunnah. Violate sunnah means against nature itself.
If the nature of this resistance continuously carried out, then who will bear the risk is man himself. In plain view, among the most visible of the secret pairs sunnah is to sustain human life from time to time until the point in time that God has set. When the institution of marriage is removed, it is certain that humans have been destroyed since the hundreds of century ago.
Maybe there is a nyeletuk, but if only to maintain the offspring are not necessarily by way of marriage. With free association can, too. You could say so. But there is another side of nature that God also gave to each man: love and affection, mawaddah wa mercy. Both sides of this nature will never be achieved with only a mere promiscuity. Rather it should be tied with a rope that Allah taught, namely marriage. That is why God commands us to marry. Because that’s the most appropriate according to God in fulfilling the demands of nature. Certainly there is no more robust guidance and happiness more than than the guidance of God.
Allah says fankihuu, with the word command. These show the importance of marriage for human nature. If unsafe, maybe God commanded. In fact, that God forbid is adultery. Walaa taqrabuzzina, and do not approach adultery (Al-Israa: 32). This confirms that each is closer to adultery is forbidden, let alone do it. Why? Because God wants man to live happy, safe, and safe in accordance with nature.
Approaching adultery in any way, is the process of evacuations of nature. And it was proven that promiscuity has spawned many a disaster. Not only the destruction of human dignity, but also the destruction of humanity itself. Not infrequently the case of a mother who put the fetus into the gutter, into the trash, even deliberately killed him, just because they feel ashamed to hold his son from the results of adultery.
Notice how the result should be accepted when the institution of marriage as given negligible. You can imagine what effect that would occur if all the people doing the same manner. Ustadz Fouad Salih in his book liman yuridduz zawaj said: “Those who usually frequent single life is not normal: a good way of thinking, dreams, and his attitude. He was easily deceived by the devil, more than those who have been married.
Married That Worship
In a letter of Ar-Rum: 21, God mentions the importance of maintaining the nature of marriage with a series of proofs of His power in the universe. This shows that by getting married we have been upholding one side of the evidence kekusaan God Almighty. In one occasion the Prophet. further strengthen the meaning of marriage as worship, “If a married means he has completed half of his religion, then she should be pious to Allah on the remaining half.” (Narrated by Bayhaqi, Hasan hadeeth)
Not to mention of the social worship. Where before we got married is more preoccupied with himself, but after marriage we can complement each other, educate his wife and children. All of that is a field of infinite reward. Even with marriage, a person would be more awake moral of the things near adultery. The Qur’an calls those who have been married to the term muhshan or muhshanah (people who terbentengi). This term is very strong and illustrates that personality who has married more awake from sin than those who are not married.
When the marriage turned out to show proof of power of God, help to achieve nature of piety. and keep away from immoral actions, it can not be denied that the marriage is one of worship that does not lose its reward with other devotions. If you find that you can enforce worship every day of prayer, in peace without feeling weighed down, why you feel heavy and always defer to enforce the worship of marriage, this wong religious worship and that too well.
Weddings and Other Income
Sometimes I get a bachelor who has come time to marry, when asked why not get married, he answered not have enough income. And this time he was working. Even he was able to buy motorbikes and mobile phones. Not a few of those who have a car. Every day he must memengeluarkan significant costs from the use of mobile phones, motorcycles, and car. When everyone thought so what will happen to human life?
I’ve never found a history that says that the Messenger of Allah. prohibits a friend who wants to get married because they have no income. Indeed in recent history I’ve ever read, Messenger of Allah. when visited by a friend who wants to get married, he did not ask how much revenue earned per month, but what he had to be used as a dowry. Maybe he has an iron ring? If not, maybe there are more clothes? If not, in fact there are only taught to pay maharnya by rote some letters of the Koran.
What reality drawn from these is that the Messenger of Allah. do not want to make the wedding as a problem, but as a problem solver. That marriage is not a burden but nature demands that must be met. As your need to eat, humans also need to get married. Indeed there are some scholars who are not married until the end of his life like that collected in the book Al-ulamaul uzzab alladziina aatsarul Ilma ‘alaz zawaj. However, it was not to follow everyone. That is the exception. For, the Messenger of Allah. ever ban a sahabatanya who want to just worship without marriage, and affirmed that he was also praying but he is also married. Here it was obvious how the Messenger of Allah. always guide us to walk with nature that God has bekalkan without feeling any burden.
Indeed the problem of income almost always haunt each of the young and old bachelor in entering the marriage. Because the show for them when the marriage is a necessity to build a house, a vehicle, educate children, and so on where it all requires no small cost. But the reality has been proven in the history of human life since hundreds of years ago that many of those who married while making a living. That is, not to establish themselves economically first. And it turns out they can live and reproduce. Thus, the economic establishment is not the main requirement for someone to enter the world of weddings.
Why? Because, there are doors that God provided sustenance after the wedding. That is, to reach its entrance quota provision is married first. If not, the provision would not be liquid. This understanding of paragraph iyyakunu fuqara yughnihimullahu min fadhlihi wallahu waasi’un aliim, if they are poor, Allah will mampukan them of His bounty. And Allah is All-knowing area (An-Nur: 32). It is a direct assurance from God, for the problem of income was not associated with marriage. That is, provision problem is one thing and marriage to other things.
Abu Bakr Ash-Shidiq when interpreting the verse that says, ‘Obey Allah to marry. God will fulfill his promise to give you wealth fairly. Al-Qurtubi said, “This is God’s promise to give wealth to those who marry to achieve the pleasure of Allah, and keep ourselves from disobedience.” (See Tafsirul Quthubi, Al-Jami ‘liahkamil p. 12 juz Quran. 160, Darul Kutubil Scientific, Beirut).
Messenger of Allah. never encourage a friend by saying, “Marry me with confidence in God and hope for ridhaNya, God will surely help and blessing.” (Narrated by Thabarni). In another hadith mentioned: Three things that God would help, among them: “People get married to keep ourselves from disobedience.” (Narrated by Turmudzi and Nasa’i)
Thawus Imam once said to Abraham ibn Maysarah, “Marry me immediately, or I would repeat the words of Umar Bin Khattab Abu Zawaid: Nothing prevents you from wedding unless weakness or immoral acts.” (See Siyar A’lamun Nubala ‘by Imam adh Dzahaby). This all reinforces a sense of meaning in the above paragraph. Where God would never let His servants who fear to God by building a marriage.
The problem now, why are many people who live impoverished family? These facts might make a lot of youth to think twice about getting married. In the case of fate we can not analyze what happened in some people. Therefore, each existing line of fate. If that’s the question, we can also ask: why do you ask that? What if you see another fact again that many people who had been destitute and turned out after more prosperous married life? From here that marriage is not constrained, and the reliability of earnings is not a major requirement.
The most important is the mental readiness and seriousness to bear such responsibilities to the fullest. I am sure that every deed is his responsibility. Adultery does not mean anything after that is complete and free of responsibility. But after that he must bear the heavy burden due to disobedience and adultery. If you do not have to take care of natural child, he must bear the sin of adultery. Both responsibilities that weighed-weigh, not losing weight with the responsibility of marriage.
Responsibility even married a much lighter, because each of husband and wife complement each other and support each other. Plus there is that each share of sustenance which God provided. Not infrequently a husband who could come out from economic hardship due to food rations by his wife. There’s even a household sustenance rations supported by his son. Notice how the wedding blessing that not only support each other in obey God, but also the economic side.
Weddings and Demand Studies
A friend once said, he wants to seek knowledge first, and only then get married. Strangely, he does not endless search for knowledge. Almost all the universities he tasted. He was already so advanced. When asked when to marry, he replied: I have not finished looking for science.
There is an adage spoken by scholars in search of knowledge: lau lan anffaqta kullaha tashila ba’dhiha ilaa illa, if you do charity for all age-to seek knowledge, you will not get it but only partially. Science world wide. Rest of our lives will never be able to browse all the sciences. While marriage is a demand nature. Therefore, there is no rule in Islam that we seek knowledge first and then married.
Many of the scholars who are married are also seeking knowledge. True, the relationship in search of knowledge here is very closely related to income. But many scholars who have completed their study programs and some even have doctors or professors, but still unemployed and have not gotten the job. That is, completing the study period was also not guaranteed to generate revenue. While weddings are always without all that urgent. In the Qur’an and Sunnah, there is no necessity to delay marriage guidance in search of knowledge or looking for treasure. In fact, many verses and hadiths in the form of calls to get married, regardless of whether we’re in search of knowledge or do not have income.
Various experiences prove that the marriage does not preclude a finding of science. Many scholars who succeeded in finding knowledge while married. So did many failed. That is, it all depends on willingness of the person. When she married and remained high willing to seek knowledge, he will succeed. Conversely, if after marriage weakened his will seek knowledge, he failed. In essence, marriage is a part of life that should also get a portion. Struggle someone will be more meaningful when he struggled also establish an Islamic household.
Messenger of Allah. have provided a fascinating example of a problem marriage. He is married with nine wives. Though he is ekonmi not a king or conglomerate. But all that the Prophet lived quietly and did not make his apostolic duties neglected. An indication that the marriage is not to be disputed, but must be met. That is, an intelligent actually do not need to be encouraged to marry, because God has created a tremendous surge of nature in him. And it can not be denied. Each person knows better than anyone else about this surge. And he alone who bear the pains and anxiety of this surge if he continues to hold-resistant.
To meet the surge demands it, not necessarily finish first study. That he could do while walking. If you want to take steps such as the scholars who do not marry (uzzab) for the sake of science, go ahead. But if the quality of the science you really like the scholars that? If not, you have loss two times: the science was not optimal, nor married. When the scholars uzzab because so busy with science until not had time to get married, whether you’ve reached the scholars were busy so you do not have time to get married? From here if you really want to go trail uzzab cleric, who followed not only not menikahnya, but also the level of science achievement. To be balanced.
Actually, marriage is not a problem. Getting married is a ladder that must be traversed in any circumstances and however. He is the laws that can not be replaced in any way. When the Prophet recommends that fast, it is simply a temporary solution, when the conditions are really not possible. But under normal conditions, actually there is no reason that can be used as the basis for delaying marriage.
In order for marriage to be an alternative solution, let us move from the definition of “marriage as a burden” to “marriage as a religious service.” As we feel happy when it comes time to uphold prayers and running fast when Ramadan arrived, we should also feel happy to enter the world of marriage when it comes time with no load. Whatever the condition of our economy, if the necessity to marry has come “just live with the spirit of resignation to God.” It is proven, people can get married while earning a living. God will never let His servants who fight in His way to build a true household.
Notice those who like to do immoral or commit adultery. They are so brave doing it all while the act was not only hated by many people, but more than that hated God. Even God threatened them with grievous penalty. Given this reality, we should be more daring race to uphold marriage, to offset them. Moreover, God promises a wealth of extraordinary security for those who fear Him by building a wedding.
When a good Muslim man or woman will get married, usually will arise a feeling of variety. There is a sense of upset, restless, worried hesitated, including also impatient waiting for the facilitator, etc.. Even when the process ta’aruf although there are also feelings of doubt.
Here’s a bit of what I can present to the reader for Facebook to dampen the negative feelings and hopefully bring optimism in finding a life partner. Hopefully useful for me personally and all the Muslims. I pleaded to God I hope my efforts bring reward is no end for me.
This is the good news of God’s promises for those who are getting married. Rejoice O my brother …
1. ‘The women who are nasty to the vile men, and vile men are for vile women (too), and the good women are for good men and good men is for those women who either (too) “. (An Nuur: 26) If you want to get a good match, then fix it yourself. Live your life according to Islamic teachings and the Sunnah of His Prophet. Be a pious man, be a woman who shalehah. May Allah give only good for us. Amen.
2. “And marries is the man who alone among you and the people who deserve (spouse) of your servant, slave of men and women. If they are poor Allah will enable them with His grace. And Allah Area (Giving Him), the Knower “. (An Nuur: 32) Most of the young men there who feel confused and uncertain when getting married. One reason is because you do not have a job. And oddly enough when the youth had had a job there is also still feeling uncertain as well. Most of them remain unsure of the amount of dollars they get from their salaries. In crossed their minds, “what’s enough for a family with all these salaries?”. The verse is an answer for those who are hesitant to step into the level of marriage for economic reasons. What should be emphasized to the youth in this issue is ability to make a living, and continue to work for a living to meet the needs of families. Not the amount of dollars that they now get. Later God would help those who are married. God is fair, when the responsibility for the youth to grow – with the obligation to provide for the wives and children, then God will provide a better livelihood. Do not we see the reality in society, many poor people who originally did not have anything when married, and then Allah gave him abundant fortune and replenish their needs?
3. “There are three human groups are entitled God help them, which is a mujahid Fisabilillah, a servant who redeemed himself to be independent and one who got married because he wanted to maintain his honor.” (Narrated by Ahmad, 2: 251, Nasaiy, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah hadith no. 2518 and Judge 2: 160) For anyone who is married with the intention of maintaining the sanctity of her, then right to get help from God based on the affirmation of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam in this hadith. And help of Allah is surely coming
4. “And among His signs is that He created him for you wives of your own kind, so that you tend to be and feel at ease with him, and made him among you a sense of love and affection. Verily in this is truly there are signs for people who think. ” (Ar-Rum: 21)
5. ‘And your Lord says:’ Pray to Me, I’ll surely let you. Those who boast of worship Me will enter the Fire in a state untouchable ‘. ” (Al-Mu’min: 60) This is also the promise of Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla, when we pray to Allah, shall be allowed him. This includes when we pray for a religion is given a good life companion, beautiful, obedient, and so on. In a note to pray for terkabulnya adab and prayer. Some of them are ikhlash, earnest, humble yourself, facing the Qiblah, raising both hands, etc.. Note also that efficacious time in prayer. Among them are praying at the third time last night in which Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla took to the sky world, the time between the call to prayer and iqamah, on time raining, etc.. Note also the barrier terkabulnya prayer. Among them is the eating and drinking from the forbidden, nor eat, drink and dress of the illicit business, doing what is forbidden of God, and others. Another benefit of praying that we believe the existence of God, acknowledging that God is the place to ask, acknowledge that God is Rich, acknowledging that Allah is Hearing, and so on. Some people when her match did not come then they go to the shamans of hope for her soul mate smoothly. Some people also are using witchcraft. Such ways are clearly forbidden by Islam. Note the following hadiths which is the stern warning from the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam’ He who came astrologer / healer, then he asked something to him, the prayer is not accepted for forty nights “. (Saheeh hadeeth narrated by Muslim (7 / 37), and Ahmad). Having said Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, “Do not come shamans of that.” (Saheeh Muslim narrated juz 7 things. 35). pretext says the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam, “Behold the spell (spell) and amulets, talismans and charms (pellets) that are (legal) shirk.” (saheeh hadeeth narrated by Abu Dawood (no. 3883), Ibn Majah (no. 3 530), Ahmad and Hakim).
6. “Ask for help (to Allah) with patience and prayer”. (Al Baqarah: 153) Ask for help from Allah with patience and prayer. Surely come for God’s help, then we also have to be patient in accordance with the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alaihi wa sallam. Also keep in prayer according to sunnah and free from the heresy-heretic
7. “Because real hardship there is ease, real hardship there is ease.” (Natural Nasyrah: 5-6) This is also the promise of God. It may seem to us a highly anticipated match did not come. Everything was difficult. But we should still be kind enough thought to God and be assured that after the difficulty there is relief. God himself who asserted twice in Mail Nasyrah Nature.
8. “O ye who believe if you help (religion) of Allah, He will help and strengthen kedudukanmu.” (Muhammad: 7) In order for God Tabaraka wa Ta’ala help us, then we help Allah’s religion. Whether with his charity in the street, helped the spread of Islam by spreading propaganda bulletin or Islamic books, helped organize lectures, etc.. With that may Allah help us.
9. “Surely God will help those who help (religion) Him. Verily Allah truly is Strong, Mighty. ” (Al-Hajj: 40)
10. “Indeed, God’s help was very close.” (Al Baqarah: 214) That’s the promise of God. And God will not violate his promise. Even if God did not / do not grant our prayers, of course there is wisdom and compassion of God is greater for us. We must be kind thought to God. This is the confidence which must exist on every Muslim.
So, why hesitate with the promise of God?